Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
