if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
