When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
