Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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