i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
