Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
