just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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