I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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