2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
