hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
