I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
