i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize