I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
