You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
