I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
