You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
