scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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