I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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