I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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