Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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