its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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