Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
