when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
