so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize