i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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