Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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