You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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