At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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