You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I supernannyed him into submission
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize