I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
