Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
In America we eat man semen.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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