he puts the penis in happiness.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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