your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
