sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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