i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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