Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Randomize