I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
