Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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