The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
