yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
