come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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