She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
