my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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