guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Omg I joined a choir last night...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
