'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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