Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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