im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
