Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Congratulations! We have a period
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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