so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Randomize
