I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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