actually, I'm a sock model
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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