some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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