Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
