Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
