I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
