I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
