I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
