...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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