Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my poor anus
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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