Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
