it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
