I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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