I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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