so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize