I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
